many times i open that door again and I climb the stairs to the beginning of my pain. Sometimes it happens on it's own with me fighting it all the way. I try to picture beautiful things, people I love , like my daughter to block out the hurt, the pain , the memories. I try so hard and still the hard stuff comes through , making me see and feel once again all those terrible things that happened to me, that i went through. So many times these emotions steal my tongue , obscure my vision and cloud my heart so that i can't live a happy life , emotions and memories that have held me prisoner in one way or another all my life . Yet , i am so thankful that all this has never taken away my ability to love. There people in this world that i truly love and that have loved me back and that is why I am still here.