fern

Yesterday i was fine tuning a letter that I'm sending to the Judge that will preside over my brothers sentencing oct 23. i can't stop thinking about him. I cant stop thinking about the fact that i have dealt with my pain by trying not to think about him. guilt. regret. thats what im feelin. powerless. he's so beyond my reach right now and I'm feeling super sad about it. Damn. I wish that things were different , that they hadn't turned out this way . I'm going to post the letter on my blog . I am also going to post the letters that my other brothers and sisters wrote. i think that these letters are going to be so important and man, they really , really say so much but not enough, never enough.